King of Kings.

Lord of Lords.

Holy of Holies.

Song of Songs.

The title is a way of saying that this is the ultimate song.

And it is either “for,” “by”, or “about” Solomon. We can’t be certain. Solomon is mentioned in chapter 3 as being carried on a royal litter on his wedding day. But this song may have been written for him – like a wedding gift – rather than by him. We know that Solomon is married early-on to the daughter of Pharaoh of Egypt; probably a political marriage. Perhaps this song was meant to be the “soundtrack” for the wedding celebrations.

The ancient rabbis held that this book was about Yahweh’s marriage to Israel.

The church fathers (and many Bible teachers today) see this book as allegorical of Christ and His sister-bride, the Church.

But it has all the structure and high-poetic language of ancient love-poetry found in other middle-eastern cultures.

My hot-take on it is that I don’t think any of these are mutually exclusive. Where I land on Song of Songs is that it is ancient (and frankly erotic at times) love poetry but that in no way is an unholy thing and it is worthy of comparison between God’s relationship to His people; whether Old Covenant or New.

It was God’s idea to describe His relationship to Israel as a marriage. The inspired NT authors describe the Church as the bride of Christ, Christ as the bridegroom, and marriage as a “mystery” that speaks of the relationship between Christ and the Church.

We normally read that and think – “Yeah, yeah, Jesus loves the Church and the Church bears His name and Jesus provides and has to put up with her when she’s in a mood so it’s a picture of marriage.”

No – loving someone and putting up with moods could (and should) describe what you do in any relationship – even the ones with work associates. That does not describe marriage. There’s one major thing that makes marriage different than other relationships: Sex.

Just in case anyone didn’t know, as far as God is concerned, sexual intimacy is only sanctioned (and holy) in one context: between a man and a woman in marriage.

So – go with me here on this for a second.

Could it be that what Paul was suggesting in Ephesians 5 is that sexual intimacy in particular is the mystery-picture of Christ and the Church?

After charging husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 and adds the inspired commentary:

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.)”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭32‬ ‭LEB‬‬

He speaks of sexual intimacy (the two become one flesh) then, in the same breath he says that this mystery is about Christ and the church.

I’m going to propose some ideas you may find shocking. You may not. I have no idea. I’m a well-mannered spinster. I don’t talk to married people about their sex lives. Perhaps these things are understood by all Christian couples everywhere and I’m just now catching on. Humor me.

A DISCLAIMER, A CAVEAT, & AN EXPLANTION

I have never been married nor do I have children so I have a rule: Do not give advice on marriage or parenting.

I may slightly bend that rule in a few spots today and tomorrow. You are certainly under no obligation to listen to it.

This is a topic that I am going to approach with delicacy. Not because I’m a prude or that there is anything inappropriate about married sex. Quite the contrary. I’m pretty sure it is a most holy and sacred experience that belongs in the same category as prayer and worship and – for that reason – it deserves gracious language.

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😅 Whew… that was a long introduction. Does anyone need a refill on coffee? ☕️Maybe a cookie? 🍪 Or a quick trip to Australia? 🇦🇺 🦘🪃

😏 You’re just procrastinating now.

😑 Yup.

😏 What are you so afraid of? It’s not the 1600s. Nobody’s going to burn you at the stake.

😬 Well…

😳 Good heavens! What ARE you intending to write? 😏 All I see in this book is a couple that needs to get a room. And maybe some better pickup lines.

😬 Oh, I got a perspective that might… be… Do you have smelling salts on hand?

😆 Smelling salts? I’m not an old lady in an Austen novel. Relax. We can handle it.

😬 OK. Here goes… Let’s start with something easy.

The first thing we all notice about Song of Songs is the flowery and, to us, odd-sounding speeches. Like this:

“Oh my! You are beautiful, my beloved! Oh my! You are beautiful! Your eyes are doves from behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats that move down from the mountains of Gilead.”
‭‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭4‬:‭1‬ ‭LEB‬‬

The comedian Mark Lowery did a whole song poking fun at the bizarre descriptions in this book. It’s fun. Enjoy the kooky blast from the 90’s past.

Rule #1 for understanding this book:

The descriptions are not visual.

The Post-Scientific Western World tends to think of things in terms of their appearance. We describe things concretely; how they look, exact size and makeup. Not so the ancient Hebrew person.

Rule #2

Ask: “What is the essence?”

The essence of something takes the whole experience of it together and requires us to consider its meaning.

Let’s apply these rules to 4:1 from above.

#1 – Her hair does not LOOK like goat hair. There is a visual element, but it doesn’t stand alone. The bride’s hair tumbling down her body has the same cascade effect as seeing in the distance a flock of goats trailing down the mountain. But before we move on, think of the bigger picture. Where are you if you’re seeing a flock of goats trailing down a mountainside? You know where you’re NOT? You’re not in a cramped, loud, dirty city. You have to be out in the country to see such a sight. And you have to be watching from a distance. Just an observer. There is a sense of quiet. And calm. The sheep are at ease. They’re not being chased by predators.

Further enhancing this sense of serenity is the description of her eyes “like doves.”

Apply Rule 1: Her eyes are not dove-grey.

Rule 2: What is the essence of a dove?

There is a gentleness about doves. They are ceremonially clean. Pure. Doves are shy. They fly away at the smallest threat.

Her eyes are not bold and daring – like a tiger. They are gentle. Calm. Shy. Pure.

Taken together, just this first verse communicates a quiet delight that fills the groom’s heart as he gazes upon his bride.

Oh… and she is completely naked.

A WORD ABOUT EUPHEMISM…

Euphemism is when we use a replacement word or phrase to describe something considered culturally delicate. Euphemism is most abundant around death, sex, and other bodily functions. Consider…

Pushing up daises, six feet under, passed away, my time to go, not long for this world, kicked the bucket, met his maker, gone to that big roundup in the sky… (there are more but you get the idea)

Barf, toss up your cookies, needing to “take a powder”, #1 and #2. This is the category where small children have no filter and they will just say (in front of all the company) that little brother is peeing off the porch or that they need to go poop.

When it comes to sex between non-married couples, two common euphemisms are “living together” or “sleeping together” (though we all understand that we’re not talking about sleep at all). Some are subtle hints like “friends with benefits” but many are crude so we’ll skip those.

Song of Songs is loaded with euphemisms.

This is how I know the bride is naked in chapter 4.

“Until the day breathes and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of the myrrh, to the hill of the frankincense.”
‭‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬ ‭LEB‬‬

The mountain of myrrh or hill of frankincense is very likely a euphemistic term for the female pubic mound (once called “The Mountain of Venus”).

The description starts with her head and moves down her body. And he ends up in paradise.

In Genesis and Ezekiel, Eden is described in both “garden“ and “mountain” language. And that’s exactly how the man describes his beloved. The chapter break at the end of 4 is unfortunate because the bridegroom’s response to the bride is in 5:1.

“I have come to my garden, my sister bride, I have gathered my myrrh with my spice, I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey, I have drunk my wine with my milk!”

Eat, O friends! Drink and become drunk with love!”
‭‭Song of Solomon‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬ ‭LEB‬‬

The text describes a space. And it is fertile. And the lover is IN there – IN his garden… which is well-watered as a result of her desire. I should not have to explain further. The intimacy is veiled with euphemism because it is sacred.

And someone is watching the couple and cheering them on. There is an unnamed voice that speaks, encouraging them to let loose and become utterly intoxicated in their experience. I put it to you, that this is none other than the Voice of God.

The Almighty formed the human body. He designed every feel-amazing chemical and sensitive nerve-ending. He put them where they are and intentionally made them to do what they do. (And if you don’t know approximately how many nerve endings are in certain spots and exactly where they are, you should brush up on that.)

SIDE NOTE…

If this is an area where you want to enhance your marriage, I can’t help you, but here’s a link to an interview with a man who is helping a LOT of people right now. It’s a couple hours long but well worth your time.

Have you ever asked yourself why God designed male and female the way he did? I mean, if He had wanted, God could’ve made new little humans sprout from pumpkin seeds or something. But He didn’t. He decided to create a special apparatus for man and another for woman that are engineered to fit together. Have you ever wondered why? Everything God does is with intention. He is not random. There is a picture He is painting with the way He designed the act of two becoming one. Or, at least that’s what Paul said under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

Let’s start with the woman’s body. Her most sacred space is veiled, just like the tabernacle and the temple. There are curtains. The sacred place is beyond the veil.

And what is required of the high priest who enters the holy place through those curtains? He always goes alone, humbly (no shoes), and he must be holy (set apart). It is work for him but at the same time the highest honor and greatest blessing. And he’s the only one who is allowed to enter. No one else has access.

The Church’s great High Priest is Christ. He is the member of humanity who stood up (resurrection) and entered into the holy place not made with hands. The Greek word for resurrection is Anastasis. It means “a standing up again.” I might also suggest that the most intimate part of a woman’s body is rather cave-like. And the great High Priest went into the cave and came back out again. And this act is what made Christ the Husband and the Church, His Bride. The Church does not become the “Wife of the Lamb” because there was a vote in heaven.

I offer for your consideration that God designed the act of sexual intimacy as a picture of – just as Paul said – Christ and the Church. Not in some vague sense, but in a very detailed picture that – heaven help you – you probably can never unsee now.

I hope you’re still with me and I haven’t shocked anyone out of their senses or given the little old ladies a case of the vapors. But I’m not sure how else we are meant to understand Paul’s comments on Genesis.

Jesus is not our heavenly roommate. He is the bride groom. The Husband. The idea was for Him to enter into His bride and fill her with His life so that she would “bear fruit.”

For those of you who are married and capable of enacting this profound mystery, I hope that the passionate and enthusiastic love in the Song of Songs elevates your love life to intoxicating new heights.

Only – I don’t want or need to know. Like I said, I don’t talk to married people about their sex lives.