There are several contrasts in these chapters. One that seemed to come up a lot was the lazy and the diligent.

And of course we have a couple variations on the “contentious woman” verses. It’s like the ancient version of “Would you rather?”

Would you rather live peacefully in a closet on top of your roof?

OR

In a big mansion but with a nagging wife?

Would you rather live in the desert?

OR

In a well-watered garden but with an irritating woman?

I think most men would choose a closet on a rooftop in the desert.

I have a theory that husbands and wives are meant to be a “person of peace” to each other. They may need significant soul-healing first to bring it about. But my theory is that the husband – by providing the executive decisions and protection gives peace to his wife by taking the weight of those things off her shoulders. His work is outward facing. And the wife – by ordering the internal operations (and herself) creates a peaceful refuge for her husband. He is like the strong outer walls of the castle and she is the warm interior. They both provide safety and nurturing to each other.

In these proverbs about the contentious woman (that we all love to joke about), the man is forced out from the interior. He’s on a rooftop or in the desert, not inside. His woman has made that impossible. Yes, she may put meals on the table, but is there peace? I think we all have to have peace with God and within ourselves before we can offer it to another.

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“The buyer haggles over the price, saying, “It’s worthless,” then brags about getting a bargain!”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭20‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

My grandpa was skilled in uh.. “negotiation.” And he taught my older brother. I remember when my brother bought a used car (or maybe a truck? He bought a lot of vehicles and it was like 30 years ago). Anyway, he bought this car from a guy who posted the vehicle in the classifieds. I wasn’t there but – that part in the verse about the buyer bragging about getting a bargain… that’s how I know this story.

The man had been trying to sell the car for a while. No buyers. So he lowered the price and, bought and installed a brand new radio system to sweeten the deal. If my memory is correct, grandpa and my brother teamed up for this visit to check out the car. A formidable pair. The seller didn’t have a chance. They were pointing out every flaw that car had – down to a missing label on the gear shift knob. You know, this thing….

By the time grandpa and my brother were finished with the car (“It’s worthless! Says the buyer…”) the seller actually lost the money he put into the new radio. 😆

You better believe they bragged about the great deal he got on that car.

It’s hilarious to me that Solomon saw the same thing 3000 years ago.

“That flea-bag camel is so puny it couldn’t haul its own hump more than a mile. It looks like it’s limping to me. And I noticed that one of its teeth is looking pretty bad. I’ll give you 50 shekels for it. And you throw in the saddle.” 🐪 😏

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I’ll wrap up with two three more picks:

“Don’t say, ‘I will get even for this wrong.’ Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭20‬:‭22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Let the LORD mete out justice. Not you. We must forgive. It doesn’t mean we have to sit there and continue to be a punching bag, but we don’t need to worry about getting even. God can kill people if He needs to. You and I go to prison for that. The Almighty can punish people FAR more than we legally can. Let Him handle it.

This next one (in this particular translation) made me stop and say (and I quote…)

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?!”

“The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭20‬:‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Why try to understand everything along the way? Because I have an inquiring mind. I want to know. So I can plan. I need to understand all the things!! It’s also from fear and insecurity (which, by God’s grace, I’m conquering day by day as I hope we all are).

Why did this happen? Why didn’t that happen? We all wonder these things. Some things in life don’t make a lick of sense. Some make sense much later. Some never do but we can at least learn from them.

The LORD guides. Like a shepherd. Sheep do not automatically listen to a shepherd – as my sister has recently come to understand. She got some sheep. They are, shall we say, “high maintenance.” After a few months of chasing sheep all over the countryside she, uh, “downsized” the sheep operation.

“Baaa” 🐑🐑🐑

So the LORD guides. He directs are steps. We can’t see that happening. (He doesn’t chase us through the field on a Honda UTV – though sometimes I wish it was that obvious.) It’s usually only possible to see His guidance when we look back. So I think I’ll stick this proverb on my fridge to remind me that I do not have to understand everything in life today.

Ok… this last one just struck me a a little melodramatic but true. And since (as I’m writing this) we just passed Halloween when all the neighbors were desecrating their lawns with horridness… 🧟‍♂️🪦💀🕷️🕸️🎃

I got this idea…

Cue the creepy music. 👀

Definitely don’t want to “wander from the way of understanding” do we now?

😏