🤓 The 4 Gospels As Ninja Turtles

😐 You CAN’T be serious.

🤓 No really! I think there might be something to this!

🤨

🤓 Oh c’mon. Don’t be a fuddy duddy. Just go with me on this…

🤨 As long as it doesn’t involve going into a sewer.

☝️🤓 No sewers, I promise.

🙄 Why do I get the feeling you’re about to wreck either the Ninja Turtles or the Gospels or both?

🤓 I won’t wreck anything. I know what I’m talking about. I watched a lot of Ninja Turtles in the 90s.

🙄 Oh boy… Heaven help us all.

🤓 Don’t be such a drama queen.

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☝️🤓 I have it on the authority of the internet that The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been long-recognized as representing the four basic personality types:

• Sanguine (Michelangelo)
• Choleric (Raphael)
• Melancholic (Donatello)
• Phlegmatic (Leonardo)

🤓 And if you look at the personalities of the four gospels, they match! It’s all connected. 👀

☢️☣️🐢🐢🐢🐢

SANGUINE – Michelangelo

Extroverted – Relationship-oriented

Socializer, heart, exuberant, talks a lot, childlike wonder.

This is like the Gospel of John. John wrote more about love than any other disciple. His gospel is friendly and open and human so all will believe. It also captures the closeness of Jesus’ personal relationships better than the others. And the whole book has a sense of wonder at the divine.

CHOLERIC – Raphael

Extroverted – Task-oriented

Aggressive, impulsive, initiates, action, focus, efficient

This is a good summary of the Gospel of Mark. He jumps right in to slam-bang action. He uses the word “immediately” more than any other Gospel. Mark is also the shortest Gospel. He wrote for a Roman audience. He gets straight to the point. He uses lots of power and authority words.

🤔 Huh… ok. This is an interesting theory.

🤓 See? I told you.

MELANCHOLIC – Donatello

Introverted – Task Oriented

Thinker, planner, problem-solver, live in their own heads a lot

The intellectual one is the Gospel of Luke. He wrote for a philosophic Greek audience interested in the idea of the perfect man. Luke is the longest gospel and the most detailed.

PHLEGMATIC – Leonardo

Introverted – Relationship oriented

Even-tempered, peace keepers, calm, tends to be the glue that holds a group together

Leonardo was the leader of the group. He carried a lot of pressure and helped bring the rest of the team together. That describes the Gospel of Matthew. Not flashy. But solid as a rock where the wise man built his house. It’s where we find “blessed are the peacemakers.” Matthew has a balance of miracles, parables, and teaching. He wrote for a Jewish audience, and it has the most references to the Old testament; anchoring it to the prophets of old.

🤓 So… There you have it.

The Gospel Mutant Ninja Turtles! 🐢

“Heroes in a half shell… Turtle Power!” ✊🤓

😐 Well… that was… ah…. Creative.

🤓 Now we just gotta figure out how to publish this.

🤨 “We?” Ho no. I had no part in this.

🤓 …Let’s see… ooo there’s a button that says “Publish.”

🙄 We’re gonna be in SO much trouble.

🤓 No way. … If you don’t tell. And I don’t tell…. She’ll never know.